For many years, children who are growing up in single parent families have been viewed as different. Most of the people think that they have lack of love and attention from both father and mother. Being raised by only one parent seems impossible to many yet over decades it has become more prevalent. Fagan (1999) in his article wrote about broken families it robs their children’s future by destroying their chance. This article worsens the condition of broken family. He wrote about the analysis of the social science literature which demonstrates the root cause of poverty and income disparity which linked undeniably to the presence or absence of marriage. He also wrote that broken families earn less income and experience lower levels of educational achievement. This has tremendous effect to children.
In our society today, many children have grown up and become emotionally stable and successful whether they have one or two parents who show them the rocky path of life. That is bestowed to all human beings. The problem lies in the differences of children who are raised by single parents versus children raised who raised by both a mother and a father. Does a child need both parents? Does a young boy need a father figure around? or Does a young girl need a mother? With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument.
People claim that the only way for children to gain full emotional and behavioral skills is to be raised by both a mother and a father. In the article about “Broken homes, Broken children?”, Chan (2003) wrote that children with single parents were twice as likely as the others to develop a psychiatric illness such as severe depression or schizophrenia, to kill themselves or attempt suicide, and to develop an alcohol-related disease. Similar with it, Doughty (2008) reported for daily mail about effect of broken home children that make they are five times more likely to suffer mental troubles. He describe that children suffer badly from divorce or parental break-up, and that those brought up by a single parent are more likely to do badly at school, suffer poor health, and fall into crime, addiction and poverty as adults. It also looked at conduct disorders which result in aggressive, violent or anti-social behavior. All the reports are wanted to say that live in broken home family bring children in to the bad condition.
However, all the bad issues about broken family and the effects of children, Sunday, May 21 2015, one of broken home children, Azka Corbuzier published something that melts adult’s hearts. It is about a story of a broken home kid (http://www.azkaniocorbuzier.com/). He is only 8 years old and turning 9 years old on June, 04 2015. Azka wrote the story between him and his parents. It Began with how their parents met and named him, Aska. He also wrote about his parents’ divorce battle and how they deal with that situation. He wrote about his life after his parent divorced and showed what people told about divorce untrue. He said that in broken family, “Nothing is broken”, his parents were not husband and wife, but they are “both parents” for him and he has enjoyed with all his life until now. He also answered that he didn’t want his parents to be back as a husband and wife. He just wanted them happy because he got love from both of them. This was one of the examples of good child who was born from divorce parents.
Children who are raised with both mother and father have more attention from both parents therefore they get the emotional time they need to progress in life. This could be true but not in all circumstances. It would not be beneficial at all to grow up with parents who did nothing but argue and put each-other down. Naturally, a child who sees this from a very young age would only suffer psychological problem and follow the footsteps of their parents. Children who are raised by one parent who devotes his/her time and emotion to their child would benefit much more than a child who has both parents who are always in trouble.
When he was 8 years old, Azka believed that , divorcees not as bad as what people speaks about. Now, Azka lives with his Father in their house and is separated with his mother. But, his mother lives near them and always visit Azka. For Azka, he needs both of his parents. It will be different if the child from separate parents and do not meet each other than living with his parents who always argues to each-other down.
One of the best Youtuber from Los Angeles, Mischelle Phan (Mish, is her nick name). Her father runs away from her mother when their life was so hard in Los Angeles. It makes the little Mish face hard times in her childhood. The pain becomes worst when her mother married again with another man and her new dad did not treat her well as a daughter. But, even if she faces the entire bad situation, she survives and become one of the millionaires in the cosmetic industry and she inspires many girls in the world.
Learning from Azka and Mish case, we can say that a young boy needs a father figure and a young girl needs a mother figure. Like Mish, she has her mother who always inspires hers to do what makes her happy. Her mother becomes her role model until now. But, it doesn’t make her forget about her father. She always says that she misses his father so much and wherever her father right now, she always wants to meet him again. It similar with Azka, from the story he wrote he showed us that he chooses his father and live with him until now. His father becomes his role model. It is proven when he uploaded a video in Youtube and he uploaded pictures in Instagram. But, he also cannot live without his mother.
What people must understand is that proper raring does not rely on the structure of the family but should be more focused on the process or values that are taught to these children as they learn to mature. Mish and Azka already proved that. Children of single parents or children with broken home background can be just as progressive emotionally, socially and psychologically as those with two parents. But, as parents, they must give what the children needs. It is not only money or comfort; it includes time and endless love even when they only have one parents.
Children from broken homes have the right to choose to live life. It depends on them, how they want to live. Mish and Azka prove that it is acceptable to live with broken home, but it is not acceptable if you choose the wrong option and decide to make your life full of hatred and regret. Next, whether you are a single mother, or a single father, your children need guidance. They will only become a product of how they are taught and these children are deeply affected emotionally by the amount of love and compassion that is put upon raising them. Whichever family structures you is implied. That parents must respect each other and possess strong moral values so the children become successful in their lives.
This argumentative essay is inspire from Azka Corbuzier a wonderful and talented 9 years boy who suffer from broken family and influence many broken home children to stay strong and love their parents with his beautiful Video in Youtube titled “Story of Broken Home Kid”. It is such great honor to know this little boy. Next, big thanks to Chris Polito and Paula Brown who teach on me how to understand the single parents struggle. I hope, I can learn more to understand not only in one side.
Resources that I used for this essay is come from these articles below:
- Chan, Sue (2003). Broken homes, broken children. CBSNews on January 23, 2003. Take in June 2, 2015 from http://www.cbsnews.com/news/broken-homes-broken-children/.
- Doughty, Steve(2008). Broken home children are ‘five times more likely to suffer mental troubles’. Daily Mail online, edition October 21, 2008. Used on June 2, 2015 from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1079510/Children-broken-homes-times-likely-suffer-mental-troubles-says-Government-study.html
- Fagan, P.F (1999). How Broken Families Rob Children of their chances for future prosperity. Used on June 2, 2013 from http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/1999/06/broken-families-rob-children-of-their-chances-for-future-prosperity.